Andrea, Australia
Dear Partygirl,
I'm not sure if you can help me, but I have a friend who "borrows" stuff from me, and nearly always forgets to return it.  What do you think I should do?

Partygirl reply:

Dear Andrea,

Is that a 'deliberate forget' or an 'accidental forget'?

You will find that this kind of behaviour is frequently an oversight rather than the result of bad intentions.

One solution that seems to work well is to put a time limit on borrowing like "sure, you can borrow my dress, but I will need it back by next week Friday".  That gives you a perfectly valid reason to call your friend later and gently remind them to return your property if they have not done so already.

For property that your friend has already borrowed, you could use an easy line like "Cathy wants to borrow my yellow handbag, but I cannot find it.  Can you please check to see if you still have it?"

If this behaviour continues despite your best efforts, you will need to discuss your concerns firmly and honestly with your friend and insist on the return of your property.

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14 Mar 05

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